Friends Blog

As no doubt some of you know, I used to write blogs on MySpace, and it seems that a lot of people enjoyed them. Now that even the pedophiles have jumped ship on that ghost town of a social network, I’m going to start writing some on facebook. I’ve been through a rough case of writer’s block for a while, but I figure its time I use my right hand and my creativity for some other purpose besides masturbation

I looked at some other people’s opinions of Friends online, and found an interesting quote. I’m paraphrasing here, but the guy said something along the lines of the series finale being as anticipated as the super bowl, and much to my surprise, I found myself in complete agreement. Much like the Super Bowl, I just couldn’t wait for the fucking commercials. When a big event is occurring on TV, obviously the advertisers want to appeal to the type of people who are watching their show. So when you watch something like the super bowl, you’re likely to see commercials for beer, cheetos, date rape drugs, etc. With something like Friends, you’re advertising to a pretty diverse audience. I’m just getting back into this, so I will present you with one of those categories now.

Paraplegics: This one is money because its very likely that anyone watching Friends is physically unable to turn the TV off. This strategy has been successfully employed by other tv stations, such as the Weather Channel, the Hallmark Network, This is the explanation for the success of a show like… say.. Murder She Wrote. I can’t really explain it, but despite obvious advances in technology, like the invention of the keyboard to the personal computer, that bitch just kept writing and writing. The only type of person who would voluntarily watch that show would be someone in need of just one good, inarguable reason to justify their suicide note, so Ironically it would be them writing about murder , not Angela Lansbury, a notion that im sure she would ponder, and perhaps not surprisingly, write about. This is why paraplegics are such a great target for Friends. Paraplegics are by definition … well.. stationary. This means two things. First of all, they are probably pretty desperate for some actual friends, and the show preys on this fact pretty ruthlessly. While this strategy is impressive to say the least, there is a catch. Watching the character Ross douche it up for 30 minutes, you really just want to get the fuck up and run out of the room, it goes without saying that this presents a challenge for this group. Pictured below is Ross, the only living person to ever give his show thumbs up. This show is seriously so bad that with the first 10 minutes of the show the people in the friends laugh track ( for people that don’t watch much tv, the laugh track is the forced laughter you hear after every shitty joke… its obviously not a live audience) purgatory start to sound like they are having some doubts. Im tired, done with this blog, and satisfied… im back to writing.